I wonder about… the Hope in Jesus

There are days when the voice of the world is unbearably loud, while the voice of my faith only whisper in my ear.

I always find myself writing pages and pages of God’s promises in my life and saying it out loud the bible verse I am holding on to. So that my spirit can hear it. So that the words get into my unconscious mind.

At the end of the day, I sum up there are impossible things that God cannot do:

1. God cannot not love me (Romans 8:35-39,)

2. God cannot leave me (Matthew 28:20, Psalm 48:14)

3. God cannot not bless me (Philippians 4:19, Psalm 1:2-3)

4. God cannot not listen to my prayers (James 5:17-18, Psalm 5:4)

5. God cannot not care about me (Hebrews 4:15, Psalm 34:18)

What else?

Dear enemy, you can bring up all the accusations and try to steal the hope I have in Jesus, but at the end you will only find my hope grows even stronger than before. You are prowling around like a roaring lion and trying your very best angle to beat me down. But you will only see me soaring like an eagle. I’ll be so secure in my Father’s hand.

Hold fast to the hope you confess, for I am faithful to keep my promises – Hebrews 10:23

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I wonder about… Answered Prayers

Did you ever feel that God might not have answered you certain questions of your life but after long period of time you finally understood the reason why?

Through a simple conversation with a friend, I finally understood the reason why God has closed the door for a certain chance in my life. At that time I kept asking why God didn’t grant my heart desire. But it indeed took courage, trust and patience to believe that God knew what He was up to.

I think God is so confident in what He is doing even though sometimes we tries to interpret His mind.

Oh well, that is our God.

2010 Reflections

This may not be the post you would love to read because it’s not something that will warm your heart. But still I encourage you to read it.

I’m not going to talk about achieving your goals in 2011, releasing your maximum potential, you name it. Trust me, I don’t even like the topic I am about to write. But I just simply challenge you to pray about your calling, to pray that God will use you in any aspects of your life.

Praying to use us is indeed a dangerous prayer. I am not scaring you, but I believe those prayers will eventually bring you to the place God wants you to be. At the end of the day, you wouldn’t regret anything because all’s worth it.

As for me, I know that God is preparing me for a bigger task, and serving His purpose. He is training a willing and faithful heart. Sometimes I wonder how I could say that when everything doesn’t seem right. 2010 goals are not even half achieved. I don’t even have anything to be boast of. I remember on one occasion, I was asked to name the blessings I have received this year. People came with something that you would have wished for. Thinking hard to name the blessing that will wow people, I found none. Eventually I named a few (after all what is good is God’s blessings, isn’t it) and  found some courage to say, “It’s blessing in disguise.”

For those who have read my blog post from the beginning of the year, you will get bored if I have to say it again that I am currently waiting on the Lord. Some of you might ask, what are you talking about, Annice? Let me briefly explain that it requires you surrendering all things to God and trusting Him that His plan is the best and it will be revealed at His perfect time.

But I have learned the waiting concept, which I believe it’s not easy. Moses was waiting for 40 years in the desert before he was finally appointed to lead Israelites out of Egypt. Caleb was at 85 years old when he finally conquered Canaan. And he was 40 when he represented the tribe of Judah to spy the promise land! Then, David! He was not even considered as one of the King Saul’s armies even though he was already anointed at that time! (No, no, I am not saying that there will be 40 years waiting period to finally reach your God’s given dream! In olden days, humans lived longer, but we don’t)

So many men and women of faith in the bible that have to wait. What makes me so special that I reject the waiting period? What if God is preparing me for a bigger task in this short life?

I honestly want my problems or my waiting period quickly over. Doubts, disappointment, pain are not the things you want to face every day. But realising that through them, God can be so close to my heart and He shapes your heart beautifully. I think that’s all worth it.

Now about 2011, I haven’t made any goals nor resolutions yet. I will make ones, but honestly, they don’t matter much to me. Next year might not be easy, but who cares. What matters is that I walk deeper with God and stand stronger than before. What matters is that I’m still faithful like Caleb did in the 45 years waiting for God’s deliverance. I pray that I don’t lose hope when every dream seems to fade away. I want to have a stronger faith not merely a positive thinking for a better future. I want to see God and His plans as I have kept my heart clean before Him.

After all Romans 8:18 and Ephesians 3:20 are the promises that I have received to end 2010 and to enter 2011.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us…  Ephesians 3:20

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

A Desire to be Pursued

Women love to be pursued

Oh yes, that statement is so true.

I was engaged in a chat with some friends and we were sharing heart-to-heart a relationship story. It’s disappointing, but I  heard this statement from her regarding her boyfriend, “He doesn’t fight back for me.”

Many women may not realize that they love to be pursued. Their heart does want to be pursued. Please, don’t say that I’m sad if I can’t be with you. Instead, women want to know that their men will fight back for their heart.

Am I right? Or am I expecting too much?

As a single woman myself, I know that it can be embarrassing to say it out loud that you want to be pursued. I am a type of person who doesn’t want to expect much from the people around me. I don’t like the feeling of being let down, and I refrain myself from hoping too much.

But that is the truth. Amazingly, that is how God creates women to be. And I find that women inherited God’s DNA, which is a desire to be pursued.

In Psalm 27 David said,

One thing I have desired of the LORD,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the LORD,
And to inquire in His temple.

[…]

When You said, “Seek My face,”
My heart said to You, “Your face, LORD, I will seek.”

Wait. Didn’t God love us first even before we knew HIM? Then why is God playing hide and seek now?

I found the similarity of God’s and women heart. God, the Almighty One, let Himself be found by His loved ones. After we receive His unconditional love through salvation, He only reveals Himself to those who seek Him. He wouldn’t give Himself to those who don’t even bother knowing Him more. It all makes sense why in our daily walk with God, we need to crucify our selfish nature in order to pursue God.

Similarly, women desire that their men will sacrifice something in order to get their heart. Am I right?

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

Faith {always} Matters

One thing that I asked God about:

How could I lay my heart’s desires and still expect that You will deliver those to me?

It takes FAITH, Annice!

The very simple fact is that I need to put my faith in Him. I need to believe in His love, sovereignty and goodness. Therefore Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

If every desire is visible to see, it is not a hope anymore. Yet, faith is exercised in the realm of uncertainty. Invisibility.

No, I can’t see them coming into my life. So this must be the opportunity to stretch my faith. I am opening my eyes of faith wider than these physical ones.

Waiting on the Lord

Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him
Isaiah 64:4

Posted something about waiting a few months back. And yes, the wait is not over yet. But who cares about the ending result? I mean I do care about it. But the essence of waiting on the Lord is not only the end result, but knowing that my heart is always renewed and my daily walk with Him is just so real.

Do you know that when you are on top of the world, you’ll easily see God’s goodness and love? But when you feel like you were in the valley of nowhere-to-find, you’ll trace the depth of God’s love and faithfulness for you even more.

These past few months, I’ve been struggling with this question: Where do I want to go from here? Leave Aussie or stay? Take the challenge or not? Expect (knowing that you may be disappointed) or not to? I had expected an instant answer from all of these, and blame me, it didn’t work well for such a person like me.

In my quiet times, I often close my eyes seeing in my eyes of faith many things in life come to pass. Family, business, marriage, ministry, heart’s desire. God seems to have spoken to my soul take courage. I am able to bring them to pass. As for me, it is not easy to lay aside heart’s desire and trust His goodness at the same time.

After all I know that it is a season to walk deeper with God. And those who experience the same, I encourage you to rejoice in the Lord. We are not waiting for a situation to change. We are waiting on Him. Waiting on Him to act on our behalf when we have tried our best in every situation.

Yesterday in my prayer, God asked me this question, “When you are in glory, will you still walk your walk of faith, Annice?”

As tears were coming down, I said, “Yes Lord, test my heart.”

The very same question that God will ask each of you. Do you really love Him? Even in the times when He seems silent? Will you still love the One who has given the dream more than your own dream? Are you waiting for the blessings or waiting on the Blesser?

I hope that this writing will bless those who read. And if you are in the stage of waiting on Him, I pray that God’s love will be revealed even greater to you. I learned that when you have confidence in His love for you, you could trust His goodness more easily.

Amen.

This Season… (rambling)

Time flies. So many times I have seen my friend’s status on Facebook/twitter talking about it.

This year has been a season of endless prayers to me. I may try to run with my own strength, but it always comes back when I have to kneel down and pray. Regardless of the circumstances, this is the season when I totally rely on God the most. I have been walking my five-year Christian life, but I have never realized how badly I need God to be on my side until these days.

Every time my negative thoughts attempt to attack me. Or when I think that I’m secure enough because of some reasons, they suddenly didn’t become my security anymore. In the end it always makes me come back to my knees and realise that my security and rest are always found in Jesus.

It’s obviously not the season when I used to easily get what I want. But this time round, it doesn’t mean that I’m not going to receive what I desire. I know I I will. It’s just when you are not seeing how you would get it, you couldn’t even guess how it is going to come to your life. But in my daily life, the more that it seems so far to me, the more I know it that I need God even more. I don’t simply need Him to fulfill my desire, but I need Him as He is.

Enough rambling. Time to sleep.
Zzz…